quick fresh air

After several weeks of non-stop working on our new home, we are (hopefully) officially moving in this Sunday- fingers crossed! There is still so much to be done but we’re at a place that it is ready for us to be there and finish the other work day by day. Luca has been a trooper, but I think we are all ready to try and start to get back into some sort of routine (whatever that is going to look like with a half finished house). But here is to Fall and all the coziness it brings. Praying time will freeze a little bit for us to enjoy the little things while everything else is going especially fast.

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Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

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Processed with VSCO with a9 presetLoving this diaper bag that we got from ‘‘One Duo’‘ in Khaki Green.

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an easy saturday

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Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

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Today we got outside after everyone took naps and enjoyed some fresh air. Our lives are kind of all over the place right now, but it a really good way. We have lots of exciting things unfolding that I will share a little later on, and we are feeling really good about the season we are coming into. So on this little Saturday we got out and decided to stop thinking and planning for a bit and enjoy little moments like these.

5.22.17

1995 you guys. A year full of ER, Seinfeld, Friends, and of course Brad Pitt. What a Year to be alive amiright? In 1995 I was 5 years old and to be honest was quite oblivious to the culture that was going on around me at the time. I was a 5 year old little girl growing up in the midwest with a mind full of imagination and wonder, and could care less about when the heck Ross and Rachel would get back together. (?!)

Isn’t childhood such an amazing thing? There are so many things you can vividly remember. Sometimes you can even taste, feel, and smell memories that meant something to you as even a 5 year old and remember them for the rest of your life.

My childhood was really special and I just vividly remember enjoying it. I remember always being outside. I remember always feeling safe and cared for.  Now looking back I see what a tremendous blessing that is. I remember wanting to be like my big brothers, family dinners, having a pure imagination, and I can remember what it was like to look at the world with wonder. I played with all the kids on my street and we would walk down to the “Candy Lady’s” house everyday and she would give us suckers and we would talk about our days. I remember dreaming, creating, baking, playing dress up, putting on shows for parents, and just living in the very day that I was in and not having to worry about what was ahead. I have no memory of my parents ever being on cell phones or staring at screens or iPads. I remember everyone just being present, and now with where life is now, I cherish how truly truly beautiful that time was.

As I was thinking about all of this the other day, I thought about my sweet Luca G and how he will look back on his childhood 25 years from now.

Honestly I get a little emotional and while I know I will never be perfect, I know I can do better. I want to be present. I want to be here with him and I want him to have the memories that I have of my childhood of feeling safe and cared for and seen and known. I want him to explore and to run and to create and dream and love and everything else in between. I want him to breathe, and listen to silence and not feel awkward or threatened by it. I want him to hear and feel the sensations of the outdoors and beauty and not feel like he needs to take a picture of everything to fully embrace it. I want him to learn and mess up and get sticky and make messes and color on walls and be everything that childhood should be.

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While this day in age can make these things more difficult and rare, I really, really want to try to start doing these things myself because we know our children do what they see. I am by no means going to be able to all of a sudden make a complete life change and never be on my phone ever again or something crazy. But I really want to be intentional in doing the little things day by day to make a childhood for Luca that I know he will love.

I feel like the magic of childhood in all of its wonder and curiosity should in reality be something that maybe never was supposed to diminish. Maybe we are supposed to see things with that perspective in this world until the moment we pass on to the next one. I sure know that is what I would want for Luca, and I’m sure that is what my parents and God had intended for me.

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So here is to opening up our eyes, listening to all the sounds, and even hearing in the silence. To remembering the beauty of the sky and clouds and looking for the wonder in all the little things that are throughout our day to days. Here’s to remembering everything is magical, fart noises are silly, people’s laughs are contagious, and imaginations are creativity waiting to be unleashed. That life is to be fun and an adventure and that we would remember we are always known and cared for by The One who created it all in the first place. I think we need it. I know I do. And I think our kids will be really happy we did.

 

 

11.06.16

I got a cold a few days ago. Tried my best to keep as sanitized as possible so Luca boy wouldn’t catch it. But unfortunately baby bear caught his first ever bug. Amazed at how joyful he still always seems to be. Not only does he have a cold, but has some major teeth coming in. So for the next few days you can sure bet he is getting all the extra cuddles and hugs and kisses and love until the whole family is back up on our feet.

Luca is turning 9 months this week! It doesn’t even seem real. Life is so interesting. But it got me thinking of how quickly is first birthday is going to sneak up on me! Time to start brainstorming! I want to throw him such a fun filled little birthday party. I’ve been realizing that parenting is so much of wanting your children to “experience.” To learn, to see new things, to feel new feels, to hear beautiful new sounds, to learn new emotions, to explore all that this world has to offer. I want his first birthday to be a day for him that he just gets to “experience.” Gosh, I love birthday. They are so special. A day to celebrate the amazing human being that you are, to honor all you have come to be, and to remember how much you mean to so many of those around you. Let the brainstorming commence for this mama bear.

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4.20.16

Yesterday little bean had his two month appointment. He was such a big boy and mama bear was very proud of him. Time is already starting to go fast- I can’t believe how things change once you have children. Life becomes such a whirl wind. A whirl wind full of love, crazy, difficulties, SLEEPINESS, joy, and just about everything else under the sun. I wouldn’t trade any of it though. I love that this boy has made me a mommy. DSC_0309

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11.10.15

 The moment I found out I was pregnant I was almost certain that I would be having a sweet, baby girl. I would catch myself thinking of all the adorable clothes I would get, the dates we could go on as she got older, and the mother-daughter bond that would grow over the years. Even most of my family was sure that this little bean would be a cute, little lady.

 About 5 weeks ago Justin and I were driving to our 20 week ultrasound, arguably thee most exciting appointment, where if baby cooperates and you choose to know, the sex of the little miracle inside of you can be determined. We were both filled with emotions, excitement and anxiety (the good-ish kind) to name a couple. Justin turned the car onto one of the last streets before we reached our OB-GYN office, and I suddenly had a feeling that this little girl that I had been thinking about, was sure enough going to be a boy. It was out of no where, and a little unsettling to be honest.

 I turned to Justin and said “I think it’s going to be a boy.” He said that he was actually thinking that too. (I’m pretty sure he thought this all along, and just humored me in my thinking of a little girl.) We pulled into the office and they brought us right back to the ultrasound room, my heart beating out of my chest as she squeezed the warm gel on my stomach. After about 20 minutes of checking and measuring all of our little ones internal organs, etc, she asked to make sure that we wanted to know. After a couple minutes of getting baby to cooperate, she says “It looks like you guys are having a little boy!”

     I remember saying “yay!,” but not actually knowing how I really felt about this news. Justin of course was very excited- I think almost every man would love to have a first born boy. Our ultrasound ended and we got in the car to head home so Justin could drop me off before he had to go back to work. I remember getting home, sitting on the couch, and actually crying once Justin left. Not because I was mournful that I wasn’t having a girl- but because I was just trying to completely change my pattern of thinking from the past 5 months, and feeling very overwhelmed by it all. It probably took me a good few days to really get a handle on the fact that this precious one inside of me was going to be a beautiful baby boy, and to actually be so excited about it.

     Now I am so excited for this journey of raising a little man. The journey of getting to do it with my best friend, of watching Justin teach our son how to be a man after God’s own heart and all that will entail. The journey of teaching our son how to be the most loving, generous, caring, and understanding person that he can be.  The joy of learning more about child-like faith, and all that our sweet boy is going to teach us. What an honor it is to know that Jesus would entrust us in raising this sweet one that He has known since the beginning of time and has such purpose for.

     May I always remember on the hard days what an honor and blessing that this is. That being a mom is one of the most important and most beautiful responsibilities that I can be given. Thank you Jesus, for the precious gift you are giving this little family. We can’t wait to do this with you by our side every single day!

(25 weeks this week! 15 to go!)