an easy saturday

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Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

Processed with VSCO with a9 preset

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Today we got outside after everyone took naps and enjoyed some fresh air. Our lives are kind of all over the place right now, but it a really good way. We have lots of exciting things unfolding that I will share a little later on, and we are feeling really good about the season we are coming into. So on this little Saturday we got out and decided to stop thinking and planning for a bit and enjoy little moments like these.

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5.22.17

1995 you guys. A year full of ER, Seinfeld, Friends, and of course Brad Pitt. What a Year to be alive amiright? In 1995 I was 5 years old and to be honest was quite oblivious to the culture that was going on around me at the time. I was a 5 year old little girl growing up in the midwest with a mind full of imagination and wonder, and could care less about when the heck Ross and Rachel would get back together. (?!)

Isn’t childhood such an amazing thing? There are so many things you can vividly remember. Sometimes you can even taste, feel, and smell memories that meant something to you as even a 5 year old and remember them for the rest of your life.

My childhood was really special and I just vividly remember enjoying it. I remember always being outside. I remember always feeling safe and cared for.  Now looking back I see what a tremendous blessing that is. I remember wanting to be like my big brothers, family dinners, having a pure imagination, and I can remember what it was like to look at the world with wonder. I played with all the kids on my street and we would walk down to the “Candy Lady’s” house everyday and she would give us suckers and we would talk about our days. I remember dreaming, creating, baking, playing dress up, putting on shows for parents, and just living in the very day that I was in and not having to worry about what was ahead. I have no memory of my parents ever being on cell phones or staring at screens or iPads. I remember everyone just being present, and now with where life is now, I cherish how truly truly beautiful that time was.

As I was thinking about all of this the other day, I thought about my sweet Luca G and how he will look back on his childhood 25 years from now.

Honestly I get a little emotional and while I know I will never be perfect, I know I can do better. I want to be present. I want to be here with him and I want him to have the memories that I have of my childhood of feeling safe and cared for and seen and known. I want him to explore and to run and to create and dream and love and everything else in between. I want him to breathe, and listen to silence and not feel awkward or threatened by it. I want him to hear and feel the sensations of the outdoors and beauty and not feel like he needs to take a picture of everything to fully embrace it. I want him to learn and mess up and get sticky and make messes and color on walls and be everything that childhood should be.

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While this day in age can make these things more difficult and rare, I really, really want to try to start doing these things myself because we know our children do what they see. I am by no means going to be able to all of a sudden make a complete life change and never be on my phone ever again or something crazy. But I really want to be intentional in doing the little things day by day to make a childhood for Luca that I know he will love.

I feel like the magic of childhood in all of its wonder and curiosity should in reality be something that maybe never was supposed to diminish. Maybe we are supposed to see things with that perspective in this world until the moment we pass on to the next one. I sure know that is what I would want for Luca, and I’m sure that is what my parents and God had intended for me.

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So here is to opening up our eyes, listening to all the sounds, and even hearing in the silence. To remembering the beauty of the sky and clouds and looking for the wonder in all the little things that are throughout our day to days. Here’s to remembering everything is magical, fart noises are silly, people’s laughs are contagious, and imaginations are creativity waiting to be unleashed. That life is to be fun and an adventure and that we would remember we are always known and cared for by The One who created it all in the first place. I think we need it. I know I do. And I think our kids will be really happy we did.

 

 

4.9.17

‘It’s not either or, it’s both, and more.”

This past weekend we had a dear friend come to visit for the weekend. We met back in our YWAM days and she is currently attending Bible school is Alaska. It was such a blessing to have her with us for a couple days, and she really helped Justin and I to process what is going on with our marriage, communication, etc.

 

A lot of people don’t realize this, but Justin and I are VERY different. It wasn’t something we completely noticed until after being married for awhile to realize that our brains work almost completely opposite of each other. For those of you who are familiar with the Myer-briggs test, Justin is a INFJ and I am an INFP. For those of you who may know of the Life Languages test, Justin is a Mover/Shaper and I am a Responder/Contemplator. For those of you who have no idea what the heck I was just talking about, let me put it this way:

Justin’s mind works in a very “big picture” sort of way. He sees where he wants himself, our family, etc to be and wants to do everything now in order to get us there. Dreams, ideas, and things to pursue are very much a part of who he is and how God has wired him to think and how he just lives day to day. Being in the moment is not something that especially comes natural to him. There are times when he can almost feel “worthless” if he is not able to make steps in the direction he feels we need to be going.

I, on the other hand work completely differently. I am a very much day to day, live in the moment type of person. I am more aware of what God wants from us/ is teaching us in the very moment and season that we are in, and I honestly don’t really care to know about what is going to happen next. While I do enjoy thinking about what our future may hold, I really never dwell on it or give it much attention.

These differences have made things quite complicated for us at times. Especially times when big decisions need to be made together. With Justin needing to make a decision, I can very easily feel stressed or pressured, because a lot of the time I need days or even a week or two to process and come to a conclusion that I know is right. There’s been several times when just no conclusion is made because we are both on complete opposite sides of the spectrum with what we think we need to do, and it’s extremely hard on both of us.

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In those moments it is really easy to see your side as the “right” one, and theirs as “wrong.” It’s so easy to then start living your life and marriage knowing that there is always this division, knowing that your minds are nothing alike, and not knowing at all what to do with that.

But maybe let’s stop and think,

It’s not either or, it’s both, and more.”

Maybe neither one of you is the “right” side, or the “right” way to think. I want to always remember that God has made and wired my spouse with precision and care, making no mistakes. Because of this, maybe both of you are right. I feel like we are discovering this more and more and God is revealing to us more of what this looks like for us.

We are realizing more that we are in this together. While that may sound extremely basic, it is so easy to let the enemy use your differences against you, your dreams and your destiny. But remembering that both of our minds, ways of thinking/processing, personalities, dreams and desires are right.

I really believe God has so much more behind the person that you marry, and the reasons you are together and how you can compliment each other are far greater than we can even comprehend. We are just understanding more every day that we NEED each other. We NEED the way that our spouse thinks, which can at first seems so frustrating and confusing.  If we can continue to grow and understand each other on deeper levels and continue to appreciate the wonderful complexities that make up each other’s minds and thought patterns, then it’s only going up from here.

We know we are different. We know we need each other. And God will continue to give us the grace to do that.

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“It’s not either or, it’s both, and MORE.”

Lastly, the word more stood out me. By both of us understanding that we are in this together and that both of us are right, there’s more. More hope, peace, presence, and joy because we are once again making room for unity and the opportunity to love each other for exactly who we are, and not who we were wanting them to be.

While this is such an amazing thing for us to keep discovering, it doesn’t mean that everything is going to be easy now and that we have it all figured out. There is still so much more we are learning and navigating with God, but it feels there is more of a shift of atmosphere. Before, the atmosphere around big decisions or certain conversations could be very confusing, frustrating, and hopeless. Where now the atmosphere seems to be of hope, understanding, and unity.

Isn’t it amazing that God cares about your marriage, your own personal dreams and desires, and every other small detail in between? I don’t ever want to forget that He just plain ol’ cares, and is never going to let us down, and life with Him goes from glory to glory.

 

 

 

4.21.16

I love thinking about back when everyone didn’t use the internet to find and store recipes. (Don’t get me wrong I still do this constantly. Can I get an amen for Pinterest?) However I love looking through the countless books my mom has full of recipes from everywhere under the sun. I love seeing all the ones my grandma had given to her and others in our family that bring back so many memories of growing up and eating the deliciousness that these recipes produce. I’ve made copies of lots that she had kept that I want to be sure to keep as well; not only to be able to make them here at home, but also be able to keep them in a big book full of recipes that I also find that I can keep passing down to our family. Some of my favorites that my grandma would always make, and still does whenever we are in Iowa: chocolate roll, rhubarb crisp (my rhubarb is already sprouting in the yard!), and her peanut butter bars. So. Good.

So my mama gave me this recipe book and I’m slowly trying to get things in there that I find, and also putting in the old ones that I love. Here’s to old traditions and new ones to come!

4.20.16

Yesterday little bean had his two month appointment. He was such a big boy and mama bear was very proud of him. Time is already starting to go fast- I can’t believe how things change once you have children. Life becomes such a whirl wind. A whirl wind full of love, crazy, difficulties, SLEEPINESS, joy, and just about everything else under the sun. I wouldn’t trade any of it though. I love that this boy has made me a mommy. DSC_0309

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