The moment I found out I was pregnant I was almost certain that I would be having a sweet, baby girl. I would catch myself thinking of all the adorable clothes I would get, the dates we could go on as she got older, and the mother-daughter bond that would grow over the years. Even most of my family was sure that this little bean would be a cute, little lady.
About 5 weeks ago Justin and I were driving to our 20 week ultrasound, arguably thee most exciting appointment, where if baby cooperates and you choose to know, the sex of the little miracle inside of you can be determined. We were both filled with emotions, excitement and anxiety (the good-ish kind) to name a couple. Justin turned the car onto one of the last streets before we reached our OB-GYN office, and I suddenly had a feeling that this little girl that I had been thinking about, was sure enough going to be a boy. It was out of no where, and a little unsettling to be honest.
I turned to Justin and said “I think it’s going to be a boy.” He said that he was actually thinking that too. (I’m pretty sure he thought this all along, and just humored me in my thinking of a little girl.) We pulled into the office and they brought us right back to the ultrasound room, my heart beating out of my chest as she squeezed the warm gel on my stomach. After about 20 minutes of checking and measuring all of our little ones internal organs, etc, she asked to make sure that we wanted to know. After a couple minutes of getting baby to cooperate, she says “It looks like you guys are having a little boy!”
I remember saying “yay!,” but not actually knowing how I really felt about this news. Justin of course was very excited- I think almost every man would love to have a first born boy. Our ultrasound ended and we got in the car to head home so Justin could drop me off before he had to go back to work. I remember getting home, sitting on the couch, and actually crying once Justin left. Not because I was mournful that I wasn’t having a girl- but because I was just trying to completely change my pattern of thinking from the past 5 months, and feeling very overwhelmed by it all. It probably took me a good few days to really get a handle on the fact that this precious one inside of me was going to be a beautiful baby boy, and to actually be so excited about it.
Now I am so excited for this journey of raising a little man. The journey of getting to do it with my best friend, of watching Justin teach our son how to be a man after God’s own heart and all that will entail. The journey of teaching our son how to be the most loving, generous, caring, and understanding person that he can be. The joy of learning more about child-like faith, and all that our sweet boy is going to teach us. What an honor it is to know that Jesus would entrust us in raising this sweet one that He has known since the beginning of time and has such purpose for.
May I always remember on the hard days what an honor and blessing that this is. That being a mom is one of the most important and most beautiful responsibilities that I can be given. Thank you Jesus, for the precious gift you are giving this little family. We can’t wait to do this with you by our side every single day!
(25 weeks this week! 15 to go!)